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It’s Ok Not to Be Ok


Welcome to another week, and another opportunity to share a piece of my journey with you.


So as always, Monday, an easier day for me, I thought I’d get on a bit earlier than normal and smash out my 60min Zone1 Recovery session solo. I certainly did miss my teammates, but I was feeling a little out of sorts today, some things are starting to get me down in my work life and personal life. December is a very hard month for my family, especially Christmas Eve & Christmas Day where we saw tragedy hit a number of years ago, and things have never been the same. 

I now put on a brave face, share laughter with kiddies, but deep down I’m still hurting.

I didn’t want to put my training buddies through my emotions, although I know they would be there for me anytime I need them. So for today, I took to the roads of Innsbruck, over the KOM, and enjoyed a leisurely decent checking out the sights to complete today’s ride.


Tuesday this week we saw another milestone in the ZF Community with Alicia celebrating her 1 years Zwiftaversary!!!

In true Team fashion, Alicia took over the red beacon, whilst Amanda held the Leaders beacon for her very first event. 

Both ladies did an amazing job riding around the Watopia Flat Desert. Congrats Alicia !!!!

I had a meeting with ZHQ, so I needed to end my ride early, so a very productive day to be had, certainly better than yesterday!


Mid-week workout this week is my favorite…..err…Pete’s Special VO2 Max Intervals….Sounds fun huh?!?

This week we have increased the hard intervals to 1:15 to match the recovery, keeping the efforts to 17.

This is a very mentally challenging workout for me, it takes me a few efforts to get in the groove, and I seem to be constantly fighting myself trying to quit. It’s hard to explain the feeling, the legs certainly burn more than my overall fitness and heart rate, I just struggle to keep the momentum going sometimes.

Saying this, most of this workout has been in a group, and I wanted to see if I could concur the session without any distractions.

I created a meetup for one, to avoid seeing any other riders on course, or seeing any chatter. I managed to get through the session as scheduled, the early intervals were tough, and I made it about halfway then just took each block at a time, not trying to look too far ahead. 

After catching up with Coach Pav, I mentioned we try 20 intervals, rather than 17, sounds silly, but I prefer even numbers, and having 17 was starting to annoy me! 

Let’s see how this goes next week when we attempt it !!!!


Thursday Recovery session, a nice and easy 30min workout based around cadence drills to loosen the legs.

I used to overate an easy session in the past, I never seen any value, but now how Coach Pav has explained it to me, we are not looking week to week, rather than month to month, his goal is to basically get me to almost breaking point of fatigue, recovery over an easy week, then flick the switch again the following week, but with more intensity.

It’s all about being in the optimal condition for the upcoming session.


Friday tends to be my favorite day of the week, but not always when I have my 30sec max Sprint Intervals on my calendar!! The goal is simple, beat last week. From the step up to 30secs, I have really struggled with this one. You don’t realize how long half a minute really is until you are pushing it with everything you have!!!

This week I was under my max output average compared to last week.

I am still learning, how to give it all, and hang on as long as I can, rather than pace myself for the block.

Just a mental thing for me, practice will make perfect !!


This week at the Recruits Social Party, we took on a longer ride. Watopia Tick-Tock, for 3 laps, a total just under 55kms. As mentioned earlier, the week has had its ups and downs, but I always seem to put everything behind me when it comes to this ride. It takes me to a place where I have no worries or concerns.

The bunch of regulars that turn up week after week is growing, the chatter is always fun, and the time just flies by so quickly.

A really great way for me to end my week.


Sunday’s are my free-Ride day, I’ve been trying to get outside for an easy ride in the sun, but I’m yet to make this happen. I really do need to work on my tan, so there is my motivation right there !!!!!

I hope you all had a great week, thanks again for letting me share my weekly updates. My mental health is something I try to talk about as much as possible, I don’t dig too deep, It’s very hard to put my full emotions into words sometimes, I reach out to a couple of people in our community who give me the support I need, so my message here is, if you are reading this, don’t be afraid to reach out, or put yourself out there, and when someone asks if you are ok, be strong and be honest, Its ok, NOT to be ok.

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